COMFORT

      I have been away from the blogging world for some time now. I felt myself getting burned out with it and just needed a break. The last time I posted was 5 months ago. The stepmom life is continuing to grow and change each day. Some days I feel like I am taking steps forward and some days taking steps backwards. This is not with just step parenting,but in most relationships this happens.

     Lately, I have had a heavy heart for my son who graduated from college almost a year ago and is still looking for a job.Did I also say that he is living with us? He desperately wants to find a job and move out. I have been finding myself with a rollercoster of emotions as a mom and a stepmom.They each bring about different issues and challenges.

      After talking with my husband today,I am so desperately trying to enjoy this time of my life and the detours it has taken.I am trying to enjoy each day whatever it brings. I have so very much to be thankful for-one is a husband who supports me and is there for me. I find myself seeking peace and comfort. I have looked for this in many things-work,money,material things. I know that to truely have peace and comfort that I have to look to God. I have to surrender to him daily,sometimes hourly and let him handle all the "stuff" in my life.

     "YOU ARE GOD-YOU ALONE-OF ALL THE KINGDOMS OF THE EARTH.YOU MADE THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH."(ISAIAH 37:16).

       I want to leave with this thought-If God made the heavens and the earth,then I know that he can handle all the 'stuff" in my life.


       CONTINUING THE JOURNEY!!

Happy Fathers Day

        Behind every good stepmom is a good husband.For a step family to be successful it is imperative that the dad be an active participant. As a stepmom, you may feel prepared and determined to tackle the job of being a stepmom, but without your husbands support, it is impossible. If your husband is an engaged parent with his children in the home, your role as a stepmother becomes much easier. I am so very blessed to be married to a great husband and dad to his daughter. The qualities he has as a dad remind me how blessed we are as a family.He is committed to his family and child.He spends more time with his child than the ordinary dad and thinks about how to nurture his child.He knows his child's needs and temperment. He strives to be involved in his child's life-school,friends and church.He models a healthy,loving relationship with me providing a model of a healthy marriage.He is the spiritual leader for our home.He strives to grow in being a husband and father. In doing this, he brings many blessings to me and his daughter. Thanks for all you do!

     

     Happy Father's Day Mike!! Love you!!

Put Your Marriage First

         I have been in a FUNK lately! I have not had the time or motivation to blog lately. I have had some extra stressors in my life and the devil has been showing up here and there. I am off from work this week-YIPEE!!! I plan to get some rest and relaxation.
          I read an article a few days ago that concerns stepfamilies and I want to share this with you. A recommendation made in this article is that when a stepfamily is formed,the marriage relationship MUST come first.The children should be prepared in advance that the pre-existing parent/child relationship be reduced to the "backseat". I feel this is very important in stepfamilies. It is in everyone's best interest that a new stepfamily succeeds. As I continue on this journey of step parenting, I struggle at times how to spread my time with all individuals involved-my husband, my 2 sons and my stepdaughter.This changes everday due to circumstances and everyone's schedules, but I firmly believe in PUTTING YOUR MARRIAGE FIRST.This will secure the child's sense of wellbeing in the long haul. Continuing The Journey!
        

Celebrating Step Mothers Day

           With Mother's Day a week away, I was giving some thought as to how stepmothers are viewed by society.The stereotypical image of a stepmom needs an update. The term stepmom carries a negative connotation in some circumstances.Being a stepmom in some cases has the stereotypical image of "WICKED".Becoming a 2nd mom to someone elses children is not easy,but millions of women have taken on the task.Stepmothers need to be recognized and honored also.No one can take the place of the child's own mother ,of course.

            One of the things children face in blended families is being torn between 2 sets of parents.With this in mind, I have read and heard about "Step Mothers Day" being celebrated the Sunday after Mother's Day. This may be a good idea for some family situations. This week as a stepmom, do something nice for yourself . Pamper yourself, take a bubblebath,watch a movie, spend time with your spouse.

            Help your step children to honor their BM on Mother's Day if possible. A good way is by helping them with gifts. One year I helped my step daughter make a photo book for her mom with special things written in it by her. I took photos of my stepdaughter and let her pick out a book to put them in.It was fun for both of us and was also a very personalized gift for her mom.

            My hope is that as a stepmom you will have a very special day!Continuing The Journey!

Dealing with the Whys of Step Parenting

       When you become a stepmom there are many times you ask the question-WHY? Why is being a stepmom so hard at times? Why can't a spouse and their ex get along for the childs sake? Why do people harbor so much resentment that it affects their health after a divorce? Why did my child not want to come to visit me on my weekend to have them? Why so many lies? Why do some people think stepmoms are wicked? Why did my stepdaughters biological mom die at this time of her life?
        As I was walking recently,I was asking God some WHY's and this is what I am learning. God allows all of us to be tested and when you are a step parent you are definitely tested and ask WHY many times. God knows about all of our "stuff" we have in our lives.He knows what is going to happen in our lives and what we are going through and will go through. .I am learning to try not to fix and solve everything in life.I am learning to quit asking God so many WHY questions and to let him be the ruler of my life in all my problems.God can handle all of our"stuff" if we just let go of our worries and WHY's and give them to him.Are you surrendered to give him all your stuff? Continuing the Journey!

Taking a Break

I am taking this week off from blogging. We are on SPRING BREAK!!!!! I will be back next week. I am also getting a few little changes to my site! Hope everyone enjoys your week. Continuing The Journey!

Special Occasions



HOPE AT SALON BLISS



BEAUTIFUL!!







HOPE AND HER PAPA













HOPE AND CHASE GETTING READY TO GO TO THE PROM



There are many special occasions in life. There are birthdays,graduations and holidays,to name a few.Our family had a SPECIAL OCCASION this past Friday. Hope went to the PROM!!!This was Hope's special day.It was special for the whole family though.I had the priveledge of helping her with all the pre prom activities that led up to the Big day. We shopped for the dress,shoes and jewelry.She got her nails and hair done.We had a BLAST doing all these things. Mike is so proud of the beautiful young lady she has become. It is times like this that help stepmoms and stepchildren to develop and grow relationships.You can create traditions that just the two of you can share together.All of this helps to bridge the gap as a stepfamily.Special events and times like this give meaning and direction to life together as a stepfamily. I love creating memories with my husband,children and stepchild! I am so grateful to GOD for being by my side as I try to be the wife,mom and stepmom that he wants me to be.Continuing The Journey!









MIKE,HOPE AND JACKIE























Be Content

I was sitting on my deck this morning looking at all the signs of spring.How beautiful and peaceful it is!We should give thanks everyday for all the blessings we have.I want to share something said at church that really made me think.

BE CONTENT IN YOUR STRUGGLES.YOU NEVER KNOW HOW GOD MAY USE YOU.

Many times ,I have complained about my trials and struggles in life. In the midst of my problems, God wants me to worship him.We should live to please God,not ourselves or others.God does not want to fix our problems-he wants to fix us.He wants to make us more like him. I pray for God to use me in my struggles to be the wife,mom and stepmom that he wants me to be.Continuing The Journey!

The Busy Life of Step Parenting

I have been so busy lately and have not been able to blog as much as I would like to.Blogging is very good therapy! Let me update you on things-Hope is going to the prom and we are having so much fun getting ready. We have the dress and shoes. BEAUTIFUL DRESS!!!! Now we are looking for jewelry and have appointment for hair and nails.If any of you know Hope, a few years ago you would have never thought she would even want to wear a dress,much less a prom dress.Photos of dress will be coming soon.She is certainly becoming a beautiful young woman. Hope and I are going to Extrordinary Women Conference in Greenville,SC this coming weekend. We are looking forward to a girls weekend. Driving lessons are continuing,with drivers ed class in April. Time is going so fast -Hope was 12 years old when she came to live with us fulltime and now she is almost 16. In giving you this update, I want to encourage stepmoms that a relationship with your stepchild does take time.I want to share a few tips I have learned along the way that helped me. There are certainly many more,but these helped me.

S-SPEND TIME WITH THEM DOING SOME THINGS THEY ENJOY-
T-TALK WITH THEM ABOUT SCHOOL,CHURCH,FRIENDS,FAMILY
E-EXPLAIN RULES AND EXPECTATIONS TO THEM
P-PATIENT-BE PATIENT WHILE YOU ARE BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR STEPCHILD-THIS CAN TAKE YEARS TO DEVELOP
C-COMFORT THEM WHEN NEEDED
H-HAVE FUN WITH THEM-GO SHOPPING,GO TO MOVIES-DO WHAT THEY ENJOY WHEN TIME ALLOWS
I-INVOLVE THEM IN THINGS THAT WILL HELP THEM TO GROW AND MATURE-GOOD CHURCH YOUTH GROUP IS GREAT
L-LISTEN TO THEM AND SHOW THEM LOVE
D-DISCIPLINE THEM AS NEEDED

Please be encouraged along the way in your step parent journey.I hope that your relationships will develop and grow with your stepchild.Years down the road , I hope we can both look back and remember all the many ups and yes sometimes difficult times that helped get us to where we are today.CONTINUING THE JOURNEY!!

Braces Off



BEFORE WITH BRACES



WITHOUT BRACES!!!

Today was a very exciting day for Hope-she got her braces off!! YOOHOO!!! Her smile is beautiful and what a difference this will make in her life.

Stepmoms Need Encouragement

As stepmoms our lives are so busy,hectic and full of turmoil at times.We have to deal with alot of different people and alot of different situations that "normal families" do not experience. These involve stepchildren, exwives,grandparents from both sides,aunts,uncles and cousins from all sides.My stepdaughter's mother is deceased but relatives and situations from the biological mother still impacts our lives and always will. We as stepmoms can try to reach across to the other side (ex's family) to keep family ties for stepchildren.Oh, the many things we do for our stepchildren,some noticed and some will forever be unnoticed. Most stepmoms do like some validation from others that they are doing a good job as a stepmom.I am so very thankful for a husband that appreciates the things I do to help raise his daughter as a full time stepmom. I am coming to realize and accept that very few people realize and give thanks to stepmoms outside of a spouse except of course my own mom.She has given me much encouragement. Despite all of our challenges and turmoils as stepmoms,I challenge you and myself to PERSEVERE. To persevere as a stepmom,at the top of the list for me is to PRAY. I realize that I am not on this journey alone but that God is by my side leading me every step of the way.So stepmoms,as the road gets rocky and rough at times, and it will,put your strenghth in the greatest encourager of all-OUR HEAVENLY FATHER! Continuing The Journey!





Hopes Testimony



Hope and friends at church



Hope gave her testimony at church this past Wednesday and she was awesome!She shared her story of her mother's death of almost 3 years ago and how her faith and her relationship with God has grown since that time.She has become very involved in the youth group and is on the youth leadership team.I know it took courage for her to get up in front of a big crowd and do this.Her testimony,courage and growth just blows me away!Hope, I am so very proud of you! Love, Jackie

Thank You to My Husband

I want to thank my husband for all the things that he does to support me as a stepmom.You take your job/role as a husband and a father very seriously.You talk with me about step parenting issues and respect and honor my input.You are patient when I get frustrated.You give me encouragement when I need it.You love me unconditionally.You give this family spiritual leadership. Thanks for getting up early after only a few hours of sleep to go to the Men's fraternity at church and for what you learned and are trying to do as a Godly husband and father.Thanks for realizing that my success as a stepmom greatly depends on you.Without you,I probably would not succeed.But with your support ,I can.Thanks for listening to me about the many things I ramble about.Thanks for doing your part to give me a strong foundation to stand on as a stepmom.Thanks for being my advocate and always sticking by my side.I LOVE YOU!!!

A Lot of Happenings

There have been alot of happenings in The Brown household recently, so this post will bring things up to the present time. We had a really bad day a little over a week ago in which we woke up one morning to an overflowing toilet and plumbing issues on a cold rainy day.As the day progressed,my husband was helping the plumber and fell down the outside deck stairs onto his back. He went back to work yesterday after being out of work for over a week,but thank God there were no serious injuries. My youngest son has left for Orlando,Florida to work at Seaworld. Thank God he made it safely and has a good room mate which I prayed for.My birthday was this past week and I had a very good day.My husband took me out to eat and to a neat coffee shop for dessert.Over this past weekend ,my husband and I went to a marriage seminar at our church called "The Art of Marriage".There was alot of good information on God's design for marriage.I would definitely recommend this to engaged or married couples.
Now to update you on my stepdaughter,Hope.We are continuing our bible study on "Lies Young Women Believe".It is great!!Some most exciting news is that Hope is going to give her testimony at church in a few weeks.I have watched her grow in her faith over the past few years.God is really using her circumstances in her life to impact others as they watch her growth in Christ.Our GOD is so good!!Even though we have had some challenges lately,LIFE is bringing us all closer together.Continuing the journey!

Good Times

Good day today! The weather was beautiful today-60's and sunny. We went to church this morning and heard a great sermon from Ephesians about putting off the old and putting on the new as Christians-to honor God with our lives-to be Christlike.We all have struggles daily. To strive toward becoming Christlike doesn't happen overnight.In saying all of this,I know there are days that I don't show my family a Christ like life.I also know that I have a God who is forgiving and gives me second chances.I do strive to be a good wife,mother and stepmother.That's my preaching for today! After lunch,we all took a walk together-Fun! Hope and I started our bible study today-"Lies Young Women Believe" by Nancy DeMoss and Dannah Gresh.Young girls have been lied to and deceived by satan throughTV,music, false religions,internet,cellphones and even friends.One lie that some believe is that" God is not enough".Many girls believe that they need their friends more than God.Some think that friends can fill that deep place in their hearts.The truth is that God is the only one that can fill our hearts. God is enough-he will meet all your needs.He is the One who never changes and will never leave you.My stepdaughter and I went out to eat then to Starbucks and had a great time of bible study and just talking about life.I hope she is learning as much from me as I am learning from her. This was a very GOOD DAY! Continuing the Journey!

Stepmoms- Take Care of Yourself

Being a stepmom is much more complicated than most people realize (except of course for us stepmoms) and it never seems to end. There are times as a stepmom when you may feel like running away due to frustrations that are overwhelming. Some stepmoms feel like a stranger in their own house. Some feel like the atmosphere in the house changes when the stepchildren are there.Some stepmoms have to watch every word they say while the step kids are here knowing it will be repeated to his exwife as soon as the kids return home. I have been there,but I don't deal with some of this at the present because my stepdaughter's mother is deceased and she lives with us fulltime. In saying all of this,we as stepmoms need to take extra care of ourselves.Take yourself out of the stresses of being a stepmom at times and focus on youself. We as stepmoms tend to give so much of ourselves to others that we leave little time for us.Doing this will help decrease resentment over things. Give yourself credit that you are doing a good job.Remember you are human and it's ok to sometimes cry and get mad. Go to the movies and out to eat with girlfriends. Treat yourself to a manicure/pedicure. Get yourself a facial or a massage. Take the time to do something that is a special treat for you.Most important look to God for your strenghth,wisdom and truth. He is there when you are overwhelmed and discouraged. He is THE ONE who will guide you on how to handle difficult circumstances. We all recently went to the beach for a few days(my husband ,stepdaughter, and myself).This was a time of relaxation and what a great view to marvel at what a great God we serve.Continuing the Journey!

STEPMOTHERS:COLLECT YOUR EVIDENCE

Stepmothers: Collect Your Evidence




Posted: 10 Jan 2011 04:34 AM PST

I wanted to share this great article with you from"Becoming A  Stepmom".Very good!

There are stretches of time in which I notice every little thing my husband does wrong. Know what I mean? My eyes see that he has dropped his clean clothes in a pile beside the bed instead of how hot he looks in his new sweater. I see that he has left the shovels out on the front porch instead of noticing how he pulled me in for a hug while we made dinner. I begin collecting evidence about how MUCH I do and how LITTLE he does to support our household. Does this sound familiar to you?



Not a great way to build a strong partnership.



So how about if we collect evidence that our partners LOVE us and focus on that instead? Take a moment and write down all the evidence that your partner loves you. Write down all the ways in which you’re perfect for each other and the ways he supports you. Make a list of all the activities you love doing together or those small moments you spend together that you love the most.



Laminate the list and pull it out when you want to feel more lightness and love in your relationship.
This article is from "Becoming A Stepmom"

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF STEPMOMS

The life of a stepmom is a daily journey. Each day can bring new and different challenges.The challenges are unique when the child's biological mom is deceased.You may think life is going along smoothly,then emotions arise out of nowhere at times from a stepchild. When a child allows more room in their heart for the stepmom, the child may feel like they are "forgetting" Mom. This is a fear some children have of their deceased mom. A child's emotional attachment to a deceased parent continues after death.Encourage children to keep their thoughts alive. One way as a stepmom to do this is to encourage the child to keep photos of her mom in a special place in her room. Use natural triggers of life to talk with your step child about her mom(e.g.,while eating at her mom's favorite restaurant). As a stepmom, be open to listen to stories about special memories with them.Also talk to your step child about how they can make room in their hearts for their stepmom also and still keep their mother's memory alive. God provides enough love for all the special people in our lives. If possible,keep the child and the mother's extended family in contact and involved in their lives.Besides all of the above,my days as a step mom may be something like this-taking her to school,making sure she has what she needs as far as school supplies,cooking supper,getting her to church activities and encouraging her involvment, preparing breakfast at times for the youth group on Sunday mornings,taking her shopping for clothes,doing a bible study with her,talk to her about friends and life as a teenager,take her to friends and have friends over,practice driving with her, take her out to eat,take her to get her hair cut, take her to orthodontist and doctor when needed. My husband and Hope's Dad is always there to help with all of the demands of life.I am very blessed to be married to him.That's another blog post-ha!! I am striving to learn to appreciate and enjoy today as a stepmom.Continuing The Journey!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

I want to wish all stepmoms a Happy New Year for 2011.Being a stepmom can be challenging,but also rewarding. Look to the new year with a positve attitude ,encouragement from family and friends and most important look to God for guidance in all things.God sometimes uses family life to teach spiritual lessons to us.As a stepmother,you have a special gift to choose to love your stepchild that is not your own.This can be an opportunity to let God teach you how to love others like our Heavenly Father loved us.This choice will enrich your life in ways you can't imagine if you open your heart.I read a blog entree for New Years Resolutions for stepmoms that was very good-http://thehappystepmother.blogspot.com
                                 Continuing the Journey!