Stepmoms- Take Care of Yourself

Being a stepmom is much more complicated than most people realize (except of course for us stepmoms) and it never seems to end. There are times as a stepmom when you may feel like running away due to frustrations that are overwhelming. Some stepmoms feel like a stranger in their own house. Some feel like the atmosphere in the house changes when the stepchildren are there.Some stepmoms have to watch every word they say while the step kids are here knowing it will be repeated to his exwife as soon as the kids return home. I have been there,but I don't deal with some of this at the present because my stepdaughter's mother is deceased and she lives with us fulltime. In saying all of this,we as stepmoms need to take extra care of ourselves.Take yourself out of the stresses of being a stepmom at times and focus on youself. We as stepmoms tend to give so much of ourselves to others that we leave little time for us.Doing this will help decrease resentment over things. Give yourself credit that you are doing a good job.Remember you are human and it's ok to sometimes cry and get mad. Go to the movies and out to eat with girlfriends. Treat yourself to a manicure/pedicure. Get yourself a facial or a massage. Take the time to do something that is a special treat for you.Most important look to God for your strenghth,wisdom and truth. He is there when you are overwhelmed and discouraged. He is THE ONE who will guide you on how to handle difficult circumstances. We all recently went to the beach for a few days(my husband ,stepdaughter, and myself).This was a time of relaxation and what a great view to marvel at what a great God we serve.Continuing the Journey!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

I want to wish all stepmoms a Happy New Year for 2011.Being a stepmom can be challenging,but also rewarding. Look to the new year with a positve attitude ,encouragement from family and friends and most important look to God for guidance in all things.God sometimes uses family life to teach spiritual lessons to us.As a stepmother,you have a special gift to choose to love your stepchild that is not your own.This can be an opportunity to let God teach you how to love others like our Heavenly Father loved us.This choice will enrich your life in ways you can't imagine if you open your heart.I read a blog entree for New Years Resolutions for stepmoms that was very good-http://thehappystepmother.blogspot.com
                                 Continuing the Journey!

MERRY CHRISTMAS-2010

Looking back over this Christmas day,I have such a feeling of thankfulness. This has been a wonderful holiday with my family. We have had lots of laughs and a time of being together. It's nice to slow down at this time of the year for the things in life that are the most important. First,reflecting on the birth of our Savior. I watched a movie tonight called "Christmas with a capital C" that was such a good movie about this and living life with a heart like Christ. Family is also so important. I am thankful for my  family who is there for each other regardless of the circumstances. That means alot. What a special end to our Christmas day of 2010-SNOW tonight!!!!

STEPMOM'S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST

After doing some research and through some of my own experiences, I have a stepmom's christmas wish list.Holidays can be stressful because they are important functions for families. Christmas and step families together can produce anxiety.Different situations can produce different types of stress.You have multiple home,multiple parenting,multiple grandparenting and in-laws with a step family. Stepmom's often feel the brunt of everything during the holidays because the planning often falls on her.My step daughters mother is deceased so I do not have to deal with some of the complexities during the holidays. When you are dealing with a biological mom,my advice to you during the holidays would be to be flexible,good communication,don't stress over the small stuff and make sacrifices when needed.

STEPMOM'S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST

1.Educate yourself-read a good book on step parenting and learn about the experiences of women with step children and about couples in remarriage.This way you will understand what I 'm going through and be able to listen and speak to me in new ways.

2.We are not a first family so we are not necessarily going to look,act or feel like one.To understand this would be a great gift.

3.Ask what I need over the holidays.Invite me for coffee,out to lunch,or offer to keep the children. Help me remember who I am-sometimes women partnered with a divorced dad gets so consumed in the role of step mom that they forget they are also a daughter,sister,friend,coworker,etc.

4.Try to listen without judging and understand that step parenting is sometimes complicated.

5.Please tell me sometimes that you appreciate what I am doing as a stepmom and you've given me a gift that I'll treasure for years.

In closing,remember stepmom's, to spend time during this Christmas season with the ONE who gives you strength in times of stress and seek his wisdom in all that you do. Also, I want to thank my sweet,understanding and wonderful husband who gives me so much support and is by my side in all that I do.Continuing the journey! Merry Christmas!

THANKSGIVING DAY

I am writing this a few days after Thanksgiving,but that's ok. We had a great thanksgiving with my husband's family. It was great to see everyone. There are some family members that we have not seen in almost a year. It seems as though we all have very busy lives with jobs, family,and other obligations.We often miss out on just being together with family and getting to spend time together and just talk to each other. It doesn't matter what you talk about,but it is important to talk to form relationships or to build on the relationships you already have.We need to put away our cell phones and IPODS and sit face to face with each other and just TALK.Whether it's your spouse,your child,brother,sister,parent,or friend. My stepdaughter and I did this just this morning.We woke up early and went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. We were there at 630 am. For a 15 year old teenage girl that was awesome that she even wanted to get up and go at that hour of the morning.We have done this on several occasions.We sat by the warm fire,ate french toast and just talked. That was FUN even at that hour of the morning.We are growing our relationship-That is GOD at work! Continuing the Journey!

TRADITIONS

I LOVE Thanksgiving!!!! With Thanksgiving day a few days away,I think about the many things that I have to be thankful for. I am so very thankful for my family-my husband, my 2 sons, my stepdaughter, my daughter-in-law, my parents,sister ,brother and their families,and my inlaws and 2 sister-in-laws and many neices and nephews. I have the BEST family. My 2 sons are graduating from college and I am very proud and thankful.I am thankful for our health and jobs.I am thankful for God showing and teaching me how to grow a stepfamily.With God's guidance and alot of prayer,great things are happening.A few days ago my stepdaughter ask if we were going to do a tradition this year that we started the year she came to live with us-each of us would take a turn picking a movie to all watch together once a week during the month of December.At the age of 15, I wasn't sure she would want to continue this,but this has become a tradition to her.Traditions play a huge role in holidays. When family traditions are continued,they reinforce family identity.For my stepdaughter,this is huge. In stepfamilies you should usually create new traditions slowly while holding on to old ones. My stepdaughter and I are creating some new traditions. We have done 1 bible study together and will be starting another one soon. She has her own Christmas tree in her room to decorate on her own with her choice of ornaments.Holidays can be stressful times,but as a stepmom remember to keep your eyes on Christ and follow his example and this WILL have an impact on your stepchild. Continuing the Journey! Happy Thanksgiving !!