COMFORT

      I have been away from the blogging world for some time now. I felt myself getting burned out with it and just needed a break. The last time I posted was 5 months ago. The stepmom life is continuing to grow and change each day. Some days I feel like I am taking steps forward and some days taking steps backwards. This is not with just step parenting,but in most relationships this happens.

     Lately, I have had a heavy heart for my son who graduated from college almost a year ago and is still looking for a job.Did I also say that he is living with us? He desperately wants to find a job and move out. I have been finding myself with a rollercoster of emotions as a mom and a stepmom.They each bring about different issues and challenges.

      After talking with my husband today,I am so desperately trying to enjoy this time of my life and the detours it has taken.I am trying to enjoy each day whatever it brings. I have so very much to be thankful for-one is a husband who supports me and is there for me. I find myself seeking peace and comfort. I have looked for this in many things-work,money,material things. I know that to truely have peace and comfort that I have to look to God. I have to surrender to him daily,sometimes hourly and let him handle all the "stuff" in my life.

     "YOU ARE GOD-YOU ALONE-OF ALL THE KINGDOMS OF THE EARTH.YOU MADE THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH."(ISAIAH 37:16).

       I want to leave with this thought-If God made the heavens and the earth,then I know that he can handle all the 'stuff" in my life.


       CONTINUING THE JOURNEY!!

Dealing with the Whys of Step Parenting

       When you become a stepmom there are many times you ask the question-WHY? Why is being a stepmom so hard at times? Why can't a spouse and their ex get along for the childs sake? Why do people harbor so much resentment that it affects their health after a divorce? Why did my child not want to come to visit me on my weekend to have them? Why so many lies? Why do some people think stepmoms are wicked? Why did my stepdaughters biological mom die at this time of her life?
        As I was walking recently,I was asking God some WHY's and this is what I am learning. God allows all of us to be tested and when you are a step parent you are definitely tested and ask WHY many times. God knows about all of our "stuff" we have in our lives.He knows what is going to happen in our lives and what we are going through and will go through. .I am learning to try not to fix and solve everything in life.I am learning to quit asking God so many WHY questions and to let him be the ruler of my life in all my problems.God can handle all of our"stuff" if we just let go of our worries and WHY's and give them to him.Are you surrendered to give him all your stuff? Continuing the Journey!

Special Occasions



HOPE AT SALON BLISS



BEAUTIFUL!!







HOPE AND HER PAPA













HOPE AND CHASE GETTING READY TO GO TO THE PROM



There are many special occasions in life. There are birthdays,graduations and holidays,to name a few.Our family had a SPECIAL OCCASION this past Friday. Hope went to the PROM!!!This was Hope's special day.It was special for the whole family though.I had the priveledge of helping her with all the pre prom activities that led up to the Big day. We shopped for the dress,shoes and jewelry.She got her nails and hair done.We had a BLAST doing all these things. Mike is so proud of the beautiful young lady she has become. It is times like this that help stepmoms and stepchildren to develop and grow relationships.You can create traditions that just the two of you can share together.All of this helps to bridge the gap as a stepfamily.Special events and times like this give meaning and direction to life together as a stepfamily. I love creating memories with my husband,children and stepchild! I am so grateful to GOD for being by my side as I try to be the wife,mom and stepmom that he wants me to be.Continuing The Journey!









MIKE,HOPE AND JACKIE























Be Content

I was sitting on my deck this morning looking at all the signs of spring.How beautiful and peaceful it is!We should give thanks everyday for all the blessings we have.I want to share something said at church that really made me think.

BE CONTENT IN YOUR STRUGGLES.YOU NEVER KNOW HOW GOD MAY USE YOU.

Many times ,I have complained about my trials and struggles in life. In the midst of my problems, God wants me to worship him.We should live to please God,not ourselves or others.God does not want to fix our problems-he wants to fix us.He wants to make us more like him. I pray for God to use me in my struggles to be the wife,mom and stepmom that he wants me to be.Continuing The Journey!

Stepmoms Need Encouragement

As stepmoms our lives are so busy,hectic and full of turmoil at times.We have to deal with alot of different people and alot of different situations that "normal families" do not experience. These involve stepchildren, exwives,grandparents from both sides,aunts,uncles and cousins from all sides.My stepdaughter's mother is deceased but relatives and situations from the biological mother still impacts our lives and always will. We as stepmoms can try to reach across to the other side (ex's family) to keep family ties for stepchildren.Oh, the many things we do for our stepchildren,some noticed and some will forever be unnoticed. Most stepmoms do like some validation from others that they are doing a good job as a stepmom.I am so very thankful for a husband that appreciates the things I do to help raise his daughter as a full time stepmom. I am coming to realize and accept that very few people realize and give thanks to stepmoms outside of a spouse except of course my own mom.She has given me much encouragement. Despite all of our challenges and turmoils as stepmoms,I challenge you and myself to PERSEVERE. To persevere as a stepmom,at the top of the list for me is to PRAY. I realize that I am not on this journey alone but that God is by my side leading me every step of the way.So stepmoms,as the road gets rocky and rough at times, and it will,put your strenghth in the greatest encourager of all-OUR HEAVENLY FATHER! Continuing The Journey!





A Lot of Happenings

There have been alot of happenings in The Brown household recently, so this post will bring things up to the present time. We had a really bad day a little over a week ago in which we woke up one morning to an overflowing toilet and plumbing issues on a cold rainy day.As the day progressed,my husband was helping the plumber and fell down the outside deck stairs onto his back. He went back to work yesterday after being out of work for over a week,but thank God there were no serious injuries. My youngest son has left for Orlando,Florida to work at Seaworld. Thank God he made it safely and has a good room mate which I prayed for.My birthday was this past week and I had a very good day.My husband took me out to eat and to a neat coffee shop for dessert.Over this past weekend ,my husband and I went to a marriage seminar at our church called "The Art of Marriage".There was alot of good information on God's design for marriage.I would definitely recommend this to engaged or married couples.
Now to update you on my stepdaughter,Hope.We are continuing our bible study on "Lies Young Women Believe".It is great!!Some most exciting news is that Hope is going to give her testimony at church in a few weeks.I have watched her grow in her faith over the past few years.God is really using her circumstances in her life to impact others as they watch her growth in Christ.Our GOD is so good!!Even though we have had some challenges lately,LIFE is bringing us all closer together.Continuing the journey!

Good Times

Good day today! The weather was beautiful today-60's and sunny. We went to church this morning and heard a great sermon from Ephesians about putting off the old and putting on the new as Christians-to honor God with our lives-to be Christlike.We all have struggles daily. To strive toward becoming Christlike doesn't happen overnight.In saying all of this,I know there are days that I don't show my family a Christ like life.I also know that I have a God who is forgiving and gives me second chances.I do strive to be a good wife,mother and stepmother.That's my preaching for today! After lunch,we all took a walk together-Fun! Hope and I started our bible study today-"Lies Young Women Believe" by Nancy DeMoss and Dannah Gresh.Young girls have been lied to and deceived by satan throughTV,music, false religions,internet,cellphones and even friends.One lie that some believe is that" God is not enough".Many girls believe that they need their friends more than God.Some think that friends can fill that deep place in their hearts.The truth is that God is the only one that can fill our hearts. God is enough-he will meet all your needs.He is the One who never changes and will never leave you.My stepdaughter and I went out to eat then to Starbucks and had a great time of bible study and just talking about life.I hope she is learning as much from me as I am learning from her. This was a very GOOD DAY! Continuing the Journey!

Stepmoms- Take Care of Yourself

Being a stepmom is much more complicated than most people realize (except of course for us stepmoms) and it never seems to end. There are times as a stepmom when you may feel like running away due to frustrations that are overwhelming. Some stepmoms feel like a stranger in their own house. Some feel like the atmosphere in the house changes when the stepchildren are there.Some stepmoms have to watch every word they say while the step kids are here knowing it will be repeated to his exwife as soon as the kids return home. I have been there,but I don't deal with some of this at the present because my stepdaughter's mother is deceased and she lives with us fulltime. In saying all of this,we as stepmoms need to take extra care of ourselves.Take yourself out of the stresses of being a stepmom at times and focus on youself. We as stepmoms tend to give so much of ourselves to others that we leave little time for us.Doing this will help decrease resentment over things. Give yourself credit that you are doing a good job.Remember you are human and it's ok to sometimes cry and get mad. Go to the movies and out to eat with girlfriends. Treat yourself to a manicure/pedicure. Get yourself a facial or a massage. Take the time to do something that is a special treat for you.Most important look to God for your strenghth,wisdom and truth. He is there when you are overwhelmed and discouraged. He is THE ONE who will guide you on how to handle difficult circumstances. We all recently went to the beach for a few days(my husband ,stepdaughter, and myself).This was a time of relaxation and what a great view to marvel at what a great God we serve.Continuing the Journey!

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF STEPMOMS

The life of a stepmom is a daily journey. Each day can bring new and different challenges.The challenges are unique when the child's biological mom is deceased.You may think life is going along smoothly,then emotions arise out of nowhere at times from a stepchild. When a child allows more room in their heart for the stepmom, the child may feel like they are "forgetting" Mom. This is a fear some children have of their deceased mom. A child's emotional attachment to a deceased parent continues after death.Encourage children to keep their thoughts alive. One way as a stepmom to do this is to encourage the child to keep photos of her mom in a special place in her room. Use natural triggers of life to talk with your step child about her mom(e.g.,while eating at her mom's favorite restaurant). As a stepmom, be open to listen to stories about special memories with them.Also talk to your step child about how they can make room in their hearts for their stepmom also and still keep their mother's memory alive. God provides enough love for all the special people in our lives. If possible,keep the child and the mother's extended family in contact and involved in their lives.Besides all of the above,my days as a step mom may be something like this-taking her to school,making sure she has what she needs as far as school supplies,cooking supper,getting her to church activities and encouraging her involvment, preparing breakfast at times for the youth group on Sunday mornings,taking her shopping for clothes,doing a bible study with her,talk to her about friends and life as a teenager,take her to friends and have friends over,practice driving with her, take her out to eat,take her to get her hair cut, take her to orthodontist and doctor when needed. My husband and Hope's Dad is always there to help with all of the demands of life.I am very blessed to be married to him.That's another blog post-ha!! I am striving to learn to appreciate and enjoy today as a stepmom.Continuing The Journey!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

I want to wish all stepmoms a Happy New Year for 2011.Being a stepmom can be challenging,but also rewarding. Look to the new year with a positve attitude ,encouragement from family and friends and most important look to God for guidance in all things.God sometimes uses family life to teach spiritual lessons to us.As a stepmother,you have a special gift to choose to love your stepchild that is not your own.This can be an opportunity to let God teach you how to love others like our Heavenly Father loved us.This choice will enrich your life in ways you can't imagine if you open your heart.I read a blog entree for New Years Resolutions for stepmoms that was very good-http://thehappystepmother.blogspot.com
                                 Continuing the Journey!

THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS

This morning in SC we woke up to a beautiful winter wonderland of snow! I loved watching the snowflakes fall. It reminded me of how God made each of us different and unique. There is no one just like you! Just like there are no snow flakes exactly alike.Our God is so awesome in all his creations!                                       

TRADITIONS

I LOVE Thanksgiving!!!! With Thanksgiving day a few days away,I think about the many things that I have to be thankful for. I am so very thankful for my family-my husband, my 2 sons, my stepdaughter, my daughter-in-law, my parents,sister ,brother and their families,and my inlaws and 2 sister-in-laws and many neices and nephews. I have the BEST family. My 2 sons are graduating from college and I am very proud and thankful.I am thankful for our health and jobs.I am thankful for God showing and teaching me how to grow a stepfamily.With God's guidance and alot of prayer,great things are happening.A few days ago my stepdaughter ask if we were going to do a tradition this year that we started the year she came to live with us-each of us would take a turn picking a movie to all watch together once a week during the month of December.At the age of 15, I wasn't sure she would want to continue this,but this has become a tradition to her.Traditions play a huge role in holidays. When family traditions are continued,they reinforce family identity.For my stepdaughter,this is huge. In stepfamilies you should usually create new traditions slowly while holding on to old ones. My stepdaughter and I are creating some new traditions. We have done 1 bible study together and will be starting another one soon. She has her own Christmas tree in her room to decorate on her own with her choice of ornaments.Holidays can be stressful times,but as a stepmom remember to keep your eyes on Christ and follow his example and this WILL have an impact on your stepchild. Continuing the Journey! Happy Thanksgiving !!

ENCOURAGING MOMENTS

As a stepmom,I try very hard to continue building my relationship with my stepdaughter(Hope).She has been living fulltime with her dad and me for almost 3 years.A few months ago I started having some "encouraging moments".Encouraging moments are things that show me we are getting to know each other better and becoming closer.This kind of close relationship develops with time and ALOT of PRAYER.Some encouraging moments for me are that my stepdaughter loves my blog. She even has my blog on her list of favorites.She also has a photo of me on her facebook page.How cool is that!! She has complimented me on things like my cooking.She has even written me a few personal letters thanking me for things I have done for her. I feel that God is looking at our step family saying "Let me keep showing you how good things can be".Continuing on the Journey!