A DAY IN THE LIFE OF STEPMOMS

The life of a stepmom is a daily journey. Each day can bring new and different challenges.The challenges are unique when the child's biological mom is deceased.You may think life is going along smoothly,then emotions arise out of nowhere at times from a stepchild. When a child allows more room in their heart for the stepmom, the child may feel like they are "forgetting" Mom. This is a fear some children have of their deceased mom. A child's emotional attachment to a deceased parent continues after death.Encourage children to keep their thoughts alive. One way as a stepmom to do this is to encourage the child to keep photos of her mom in a special place in her room. Use natural triggers of life to talk with your step child about her mom(e.g.,while eating at her mom's favorite restaurant). As a stepmom, be open to listen to stories about special memories with them.Also talk to your step child about how they can make room in their hearts for their stepmom also and still keep their mother's memory alive. God provides enough love for all the special people in our lives. If possible,keep the child and the mother's extended family in contact and involved in their lives.Besides all of the above,my days as a step mom may be something like this-taking her to school,making sure she has what she needs as far as school supplies,cooking supper,getting her to church activities and encouraging her involvment, preparing breakfast at times for the youth group on Sunday mornings,taking her shopping for clothes,doing a bible study with her,talk to her about friends and life as a teenager,take her to friends and have friends over,practice driving with her, take her out to eat,take her to get her hair cut, take her to orthodontist and doctor when needed. My husband and Hope's Dad is always there to help with all of the demands of life.I am very blessed to be married to him.That's another blog post-ha!! I am striving to learn to appreciate and enjoy today as a stepmom.Continuing The Journey!

SHOPPING TRIP

 My stepdaughter and I went shopping today and had a really good time. We found some good after christmas sales which made it even better. She is learning to shop for bargains. That makes it that much more fun. After shopping we went out to eat,then to Starbucks for coffee and hot chocolate. Starbucks is our place for having good conversations and learning more about each other.We will be starting our bible study soon which we are looking forward to . I will post some of what we learn in the bible study on my blog.Continuing the Journey!






HOPE GOING SHOPPING





HOPE AFTER COMING HOME FROM SHOPPING

STEPMOM'S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST

After doing some research and through some of my own experiences, I have a stepmom's christmas wish list.Holidays can be stressful because they are important functions for families. Christmas and step families together can produce anxiety.Different situations can produce different types of stress.You have multiple home,multiple parenting,multiple grandparenting and in-laws with a step family. Stepmom's often feel the brunt of everything during the holidays because the planning often falls on her.My step daughters mother is deceased so I do not have to deal with some of the complexities during the holidays. When you are dealing with a biological mom,my advice to you during the holidays would be to be flexible,good communication,don't stress over the small stuff and make sacrifices when needed.

STEPMOM'S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST

1.Educate yourself-read a good book on step parenting and learn about the experiences of women with step children and about couples in remarriage.This way you will understand what I 'm going through and be able to listen and speak to me in new ways.

2.We are not a first family so we are not necessarily going to look,act or feel like one.To understand this would be a great gift.

3.Ask what I need over the holidays.Invite me for coffee,out to lunch,or offer to keep the children. Help me remember who I am-sometimes women partnered with a divorced dad gets so consumed in the role of step mom that they forget they are also a daughter,sister,friend,coworker,etc.

4.Try to listen without judging and understand that step parenting is sometimes complicated.

5.Please tell me sometimes that you appreciate what I am doing as a stepmom and you've given me a gift that I'll treasure for years.

In closing,remember stepmom's, to spend time during this Christmas season with the ONE who gives you strength in times of stress and seek his wisdom in all that you do. Also, I want to thank my sweet,understanding and wonderful husband who gives me so much support and is by my side in all that I do.Continuing the journey! Merry Christmas!