Celebrating Step Mothers Day

           With Mother's Day a week away, I was giving some thought as to how stepmothers are viewed by society.The stereotypical image of a stepmom needs an update. The term stepmom carries a negative connotation in some circumstances.Being a stepmom in some cases has the stereotypical image of "WICKED".Becoming a 2nd mom to someone elses children is not easy,but millions of women have taken on the task.Stepmothers need to be recognized and honored also.No one can take the place of the child's own mother ,of course.

            One of the things children face in blended families is being torn between 2 sets of parents.With this in mind, I have read and heard about "Step Mothers Day" being celebrated the Sunday after Mother's Day. This may be a good idea for some family situations. This week as a stepmom, do something nice for yourself . Pamper yourself, take a bubblebath,watch a movie, spend time with your spouse.

            Help your step children to honor their BM on Mother's Day if possible. A good way is by helping them with gifts. One year I helped my step daughter make a photo book for her mom with special things written in it by her. I took photos of my stepdaughter and let her pick out a book to put them in.It was fun for both of us and was also a very personalized gift for her mom.

            My hope is that as a stepmom you will have a very special day!Continuing The Journey!

STEPMOM'S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST

After doing some research and through some of my own experiences, I have a stepmom's christmas wish list.Holidays can be stressful because they are important functions for families. Christmas and step families together can produce anxiety.Different situations can produce different types of stress.You have multiple home,multiple parenting,multiple grandparenting and in-laws with a step family. Stepmom's often feel the brunt of everything during the holidays because the planning often falls on her.My step daughters mother is deceased so I do not have to deal with some of the complexities during the holidays. When you are dealing with a biological mom,my advice to you during the holidays would be to be flexible,good communication,don't stress over the small stuff and make sacrifices when needed.

STEPMOM'S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST

1.Educate yourself-read a good book on step parenting and learn about the experiences of women with step children and about couples in remarriage.This way you will understand what I 'm going through and be able to listen and speak to me in new ways.

2.We are not a first family so we are not necessarily going to look,act or feel like one.To understand this would be a great gift.

3.Ask what I need over the holidays.Invite me for coffee,out to lunch,or offer to keep the children. Help me remember who I am-sometimes women partnered with a divorced dad gets so consumed in the role of step mom that they forget they are also a daughter,sister,friend,coworker,etc.

4.Try to listen without judging and understand that step parenting is sometimes complicated.

5.Please tell me sometimes that you appreciate what I am doing as a stepmom and you've given me a gift that I'll treasure for years.

In closing,remember stepmom's, to spend time during this Christmas season with the ONE who gives you strength in times of stress and seek his wisdom in all that you do. Also, I want to thank my sweet,understanding and wonderful husband who gives me so much support and is by my side in all that I do.Continuing the journey! Merry Christmas!