Put Your Marriage First

         I have been in a FUNK lately! I have not had the time or motivation to blog lately. I have had some extra stressors in my life and the devil has been showing up here and there. I am off from work this week-YIPEE!!! I plan to get some rest and relaxation.
          I read an article a few days ago that concerns stepfamilies and I want to share this with you. A recommendation made in this article is that when a stepfamily is formed,the marriage relationship MUST come first.The children should be prepared in advance that the pre-existing parent/child relationship be reduced to the "backseat". I feel this is very important in stepfamilies. It is in everyone's best interest that a new stepfamily succeeds. As I continue on this journey of step parenting, I struggle at times how to spread my time with all individuals involved-my husband, my 2 sons and my stepdaughter.This changes everday due to circumstances and everyone's schedules, but I firmly believe in PUTTING YOUR MARRIAGE FIRST.This will secure the child's sense of wellbeing in the long haul. Continuing The Journey!
        

Special Occasions



HOPE AT SALON BLISS



BEAUTIFUL!!







HOPE AND HER PAPA













HOPE AND CHASE GETTING READY TO GO TO THE PROM



There are many special occasions in life. There are birthdays,graduations and holidays,to name a few.Our family had a SPECIAL OCCASION this past Friday. Hope went to the PROM!!!This was Hope's special day.It was special for the whole family though.I had the priveledge of helping her with all the pre prom activities that led up to the Big day. We shopped for the dress,shoes and jewelry.She got her nails and hair done.We had a BLAST doing all these things. Mike is so proud of the beautiful young lady she has become. It is times like this that help stepmoms and stepchildren to develop and grow relationships.You can create traditions that just the two of you can share together.All of this helps to bridge the gap as a stepfamily.Special events and times like this give meaning and direction to life together as a stepfamily. I love creating memories with my husband,children and stepchild! I am so grateful to GOD for being by my side as I try to be the wife,mom and stepmom that he wants me to be.Continuing The Journey!









MIKE,HOPE AND JACKIE























Be Content

I was sitting on my deck this morning looking at all the signs of spring.How beautiful and peaceful it is!We should give thanks everyday for all the blessings we have.I want to share something said at church that really made me think.

BE CONTENT IN YOUR STRUGGLES.YOU NEVER KNOW HOW GOD MAY USE YOU.

Many times ,I have complained about my trials and struggles in life. In the midst of my problems, God wants me to worship him.We should live to please God,not ourselves or others.God does not want to fix our problems-he wants to fix us.He wants to make us more like him. I pray for God to use me in my struggles to be the wife,mom and stepmom that he wants me to be.Continuing The Journey!

Thank You to My Husband

I want to thank my husband for all the things that he does to support me as a stepmom.You take your job/role as a husband and a father very seriously.You talk with me about step parenting issues and respect and honor my input.You are patient when I get frustrated.You give me encouragement when I need it.You love me unconditionally.You give this family spiritual leadership. Thanks for getting up early after only a few hours of sleep to go to the Men's fraternity at church and for what you learned and are trying to do as a Godly husband and father.Thanks for realizing that my success as a stepmom greatly depends on you.Without you,I probably would not succeed.But with your support ,I can.Thanks for listening to me about the many things I ramble about.Thanks for doing your part to give me a strong foundation to stand on as a stepmom.Thanks for being my advocate and always sticking by my side.I LOVE YOU!!!

Good Times

Good day today! The weather was beautiful today-60's and sunny. We went to church this morning and heard a great sermon from Ephesians about putting off the old and putting on the new as Christians-to honor God with our lives-to be Christlike.We all have struggles daily. To strive toward becoming Christlike doesn't happen overnight.In saying all of this,I know there are days that I don't show my family a Christ like life.I also know that I have a God who is forgiving and gives me second chances.I do strive to be a good wife,mother and stepmother.That's my preaching for today! After lunch,we all took a walk together-Fun! Hope and I started our bible study today-"Lies Young Women Believe" by Nancy DeMoss and Dannah Gresh.Young girls have been lied to and deceived by satan throughTV,music, false religions,internet,cellphones and even friends.One lie that some believe is that" God is not enough".Many girls believe that they need their friends more than God.Some think that friends can fill that deep place in their hearts.The truth is that God is the only one that can fill our hearts. God is enough-he will meet all your needs.He is the One who never changes and will never leave you.My stepdaughter and I went out to eat then to Starbucks and had a great time of bible study and just talking about life.I hope she is learning as much from me as I am learning from her. This was a very GOOD DAY! Continuing the Journey!

Stepmoms- Take Care of Yourself

Being a stepmom is much more complicated than most people realize (except of course for us stepmoms) and it never seems to end. There are times as a stepmom when you may feel like running away due to frustrations that are overwhelming. Some stepmoms feel like a stranger in their own house. Some feel like the atmosphere in the house changes when the stepchildren are there.Some stepmoms have to watch every word they say while the step kids are here knowing it will be repeated to his exwife as soon as the kids return home. I have been there,but I don't deal with some of this at the present because my stepdaughter's mother is deceased and she lives with us fulltime. In saying all of this,we as stepmoms need to take extra care of ourselves.Take yourself out of the stresses of being a stepmom at times and focus on youself. We as stepmoms tend to give so much of ourselves to others that we leave little time for us.Doing this will help decrease resentment over things. Give yourself credit that you are doing a good job.Remember you are human and it's ok to sometimes cry and get mad. Go to the movies and out to eat with girlfriends. Treat yourself to a manicure/pedicure. Get yourself a facial or a massage. Take the time to do something that is a special treat for you.Most important look to God for your strenghth,wisdom and truth. He is there when you are overwhelmed and discouraged. He is THE ONE who will guide you on how to handle difficult circumstances. We all recently went to the beach for a few days(my husband ,stepdaughter, and myself).This was a time of relaxation and what a great view to marvel at what a great God we serve.Continuing the Journey!

STEPMOM'S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST

After doing some research and through some of my own experiences, I have a stepmom's christmas wish list.Holidays can be stressful because they are important functions for families. Christmas and step families together can produce anxiety.Different situations can produce different types of stress.You have multiple home,multiple parenting,multiple grandparenting and in-laws with a step family. Stepmom's often feel the brunt of everything during the holidays because the planning often falls on her.My step daughters mother is deceased so I do not have to deal with some of the complexities during the holidays. When you are dealing with a biological mom,my advice to you during the holidays would be to be flexible,good communication,don't stress over the small stuff and make sacrifices when needed.

STEPMOM'S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST

1.Educate yourself-read a good book on step parenting and learn about the experiences of women with step children and about couples in remarriage.This way you will understand what I 'm going through and be able to listen and speak to me in new ways.

2.We are not a first family so we are not necessarily going to look,act or feel like one.To understand this would be a great gift.

3.Ask what I need over the holidays.Invite me for coffee,out to lunch,or offer to keep the children. Help me remember who I am-sometimes women partnered with a divorced dad gets so consumed in the role of step mom that they forget they are also a daughter,sister,friend,coworker,etc.

4.Try to listen without judging and understand that step parenting is sometimes complicated.

5.Please tell me sometimes that you appreciate what I am doing as a stepmom and you've given me a gift that I'll treasure for years.

In closing,remember stepmom's, to spend time during this Christmas season with the ONE who gives you strength in times of stress and seek his wisdom in all that you do. Also, I want to thank my sweet,understanding and wonderful husband who gives me so much support and is by my side in all that I do.Continuing the journey! Merry Christmas!